


Thoughts of a teenager

by AnonymousStoneFairyHero



Series: Fraxusweek 2020 [2]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Aftermath of mental abuse, Confusion, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Fraxusweek, Fraxusweek 2020, Ivan is an asshole, Laxus don't realize that he loves Freed, Past Child Abuse, autistic Freed Justine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:47:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25281103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonymousStoneFairyHero/pseuds/AnonymousStoneFairyHero
Summary: Still influenced from Ivans raising, Laxus gets confused and insecure about a lot of things. He thinks that what he feels is wrong, but luckily he has a really good friend who will always listen to him.(Laxus being dense)
Relationships: Bickslow & Laxus Dreyar & Evergreen & Freed Justine, Laxus Dreyar & Freed Justine, Laxus Dreyar/Freed Justine
Series: Fraxusweek 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1830208
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26
Collections: Fraxus Week 2020





	Thoughts of a teenager

**Author's Note:**

> For Fraxusweek day 1- he likes boys

They just finished a fourman mission again. Maybe they should really form a real team since they didn't really got along with anyone else anyway. (Laxus didn't understood why Cerberus couldn't count as a team member in the papers but who cares.)  
The only reason they were still in this town, was cause of the earthquake in another town, which made it impossible for the train to leave the town for at least another week.

And since the town was in the mountains any other way of leaving the town would have taken a lot more time than waiting a week for taking the train.

To be fair Laxus would prepare to walk than taking the train.

But that's basically why the seventeen years old Laxus was laying on the grass of the towns park, next to Freed and with one hand going through Cerberus' fur.

Freed was sitting cross-legged, his complete concentration laid on the book in his lap. The book a really big hardcover, actually a novel instead of magic textbooks.

Laxus read two or three of Freeds novels (he had a really good taste), but most of his books were magical/language textbooks, and most of his novels were in another language.

'Novels are always the best when you read them in their original language.' Freed told him once.

Well, Freed was the biggest reader in the guild, followed from Levy. He had no reason not to believe him when it was something about books.

Anything else actually too. Freed was the most trustful person he knew.

Bixlow was... Bixlow in all his quirkiness he was. He was a super friend and all but well... It's just Bixlow.

Evergreen was at one hand the only girl in their group, so of course they were things they could and couldn't talk about. She was a little bit narcissistic but they mostly ignored that.

His father wasn't there since a feeled eternity, and he wasn't able to have a proper talk with his grandfather since the same amount of time. (Macao often talked with him when he was younger, but that kinda reduced over the years.) 

While with Freed he could talk about everything bothering him, even if Freed himself was almost still as emotional closed like 4 years ago.

And there was something big that bothered him for a long time already.

It started a while ago with a chat from two other guildmembers he coincidentally heard some months ago... 

He was in the 2 floor, away from all the others, alone since Bix and Ever were who knows where and Freed on a mission again. (something about a special book as reward) 

He had a fight with his Grandfather short before and now he didn't wanted to go home. No one noticed he was there. Especially not the two men talking about girl and boy friends. 

"You broke up again?!", man one asked. "That was what? You're 6 or 7 girlfriend in three months?! Just take a break and stay single. Makes the life easier anyways." 

Seems like they couldn't be any more loud. 

"To stay single for 2 years like you already are? No thanks I need some 'relaxing activities' from time to time.", number two said. 

"This is what one-night stands are for you genius!", number one ment. "And you're the one who told me to break up with this idiot!" 

'Wait.', Laxus thought. 'He? Why he?'  
Ivan always made clear to Laxus what his opinion towards to 'this kind of relationships' (his not Laxus' words) are. 

Anyways, Laxus was never really interested in being in a relationship with a girl-" 

"Dude, I'm getting a new boyfriend when I want a new boyfriend. It's my life." 

After Laxus heard that conversation he was quite confused. Despite everything his father ever told him what he's thinking of same-sex relationships, no one in the guild said something about the guy. It was just the complete different from what he learned. 

And that's when confusing weeks of him frustrating staring at girls trying to force any kind of reaction out of himself. 

Unsuccessful. 

He excused himself that, at the moment, he just wasn't interested in girls (that way, of course he saw Evergreen as a good friend. Annoying, but still a good friend.) 

Back where he was laying on his side in the grass next to Freed, with the loud music getting pushed into his ears from his headphones, while he was watching at Freed. 

Just a second after he saw how Freeds head looked up, something, or rather someone, hit him in the back. 

Laxus took annoyed one of his headphones off. 

"The hell Bixlow?!", he yelled. "What's wrong with you?" 

"Nothing new that Bixlow's a freak." Evergreen said, who showed up behind Bixlow. "But what's with you~?", she asked with a smirk. "Your face is all red. Saw someone you may like~?" 

'Red!?', Laxus thought. 'The hell she means?' 

Just that's when Laxus noticed that his face was actually heated. 

"Tzz..." 

"Would it be possible that I can read my book?", Freed interrupted them. "I would be really thankful for that." 

Cerberus growled and Laxus restarted going with his hand through his fur. 

"Ya' nose 's always sticking in old book's Freed.", Bixlow meant. "Take a break an' start socialising for once. Won't ya?" 

"No thanks, I am completely fine with my books.", he said, took his book and went to a nearby bench with it. 

Laxus was silently looking at him. His face warmed up a little more. 

"What have you done all this time by the way?", he asked. 

"I went a bit shopping and Bixlow was just being a jerk like always."

"I'm not a jerk!", he protested. 

"Yes you are!", she said. 

"Geez... You two are always fighting..." 

That's all what Laxus said, then he stood up going to Freed again. There was a protesting sound from Cerberus, but he ignored it. He would just come to Freed and Laxus when those both would get to much on his nerves. 

"They BOTH are jerks.", Laxus said. "Kinda disturbing sometimes those two." He sat down next to Freed. 

"Well.", Freed closed his book and het out a big sigh. "It is... how they are. You can't change it." 

Laxus didn't missed this slightly nostalgic, but also sad look Freed had for just barely a second. For anyone else it would be the same emotionless face like always, but after four years Laxus was able to see this small things on his best friend. 

'Best friend.... That's not actually how I feel about you Freed....We are best friends, but what if we could maybe be more....' 

Laxus punched himself internally. Really hard. The hell was he thinking about ?!

He really way completely through the wind, just cause he listened to these two guys in the guild. 

"Laxus?", Freed asked. "Are you alright? You're quite upset today." 

"Yes!" Laxus looked into Freeds one visible eye. "I... I mean I'm alright.. Just thought of something..." 

He felt how his face went all red again. Why couldn't he control himself?! What was up with him? 

"There is something bothering you." 

That wasn't a question from Freed, but a statement. Of course he noticed. 

"It's.... complicated somehow..."

Freed stayed silent without forcing him to talk. Laxus saw how he gently touched the small lacrima on his sword, like he often did when he was thinking of something. 

"You know like... kind of everyone's talking about romantic or girlfriends currently and well..." 

Freed looked like he wanted to say something but Laxus was faster. 

"Ahh!! Wait. I know you're not good at.. ughh... social skills or something, but I kinda want someone to listen..." 

"I bet your Grandfather knows better about watever is bothering you right now, but I can listen to it at least." 

"I feel like there's something... there's something wrong with me. I tried looking at girls like all the others are doing in my age right now but... there's just nothing." 

"I didn't thought you from all people in the guild would care about... that." 

"I didn't, till I listend to someone other talking about it and some other things." 

"You tried looking at girls?", Freed asked. 

Laxus kinda wondered if his hair was as soft as it looked like... 

"Girls.", Laxus slowly said. "Girls... and then boys. 

"And?" 

"Well it was... different." 

Laxus grabed his trousers in a fist. One of his eyes started itching. 

He would NOT cry because if something this stupid! 

"It feeled different. Unlike with Girls I was kinda thinking... that this one looks good, or cute... Another one looked ugly for me..." 

From the corner of his eye he saw how Cerberus came into their direction. He put his giant head (Laxus still didn't know what race he could be for becoming such a giant dog) onto Laxus lap and let out a big breeze. 

" I... I... "

Tears came out of his eyes. Ashamed he looked down. 

"I don't know but that I just feel gross.", he said. 

Silence. Painful silence. Laxus was praying that Freed was just thinking of what he should say, and that he wasn't thinking that Laxus is disgusting. 

It would be okay if Makarov, Evergreen or Bixlow would think that about him, as long as it's not Freed. 

"I don't think you are gross.", Freed finally said. Pure relief overcame Laxus. 

"It is who you are, and it changes nothing on how I see you." 

Laxus let out a dry laugh. 

"how come you toom so long to answer then? Not your style." 

"It just reminded of something my Father once said." 

"Your father...?" 

He never, never heard Freed speaking about his family. He told him only one or two things, about why or how he left his home country, but that's all. 

"He once said that as long you do not harm anybody you can do what you want, and that as long as your happy you can like whoever you want." 

"He sounds nice.", Laxus meant. 

"He was.", Freed said. "Smart too. I was mainly raised by him, and I believe in what he teached me." 

Laxus looked at Freed, but like always there was no emotion. 

He looked down at Cerberus head on his lap. 

"Thank you.", he said. 

"For what? I did nothing." 

"Yes you did.", Laxus said. "You kinda always help me. And I do nothing." 

"i still won't say I did anything, but there is an old Antiquariat with some good books I wanted to buy. Help me carry them and we are fine." 

"I don't know what 'some' books for you are, but I can do that." 

Of course some books for Freed would mean a lot of brickstones for others, but he actually cared more about why he already felt his face warm up again, and why he could feel his heart beat in his cheast. He was only walking with Freed and carrying some books... 

'Really strange.' Laxus thought. 'Really strange.'

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it. I'm always glad to get comments, I really want to know what you guys think.
> 
> See you tomorrow ✌️


End file.
